Things people should not assume about me simply because “oh, im a bengali!” –
1.I do NOT.. i repeat, DO NOT.. like fish and rice irrespective of the fact that that happens to be the staple diet of my ancestors. Sorry but I’ve discovered butter chicken and naan which tastes a TAD bit better don’t you think??!
2. I do not know how to sing/ dance/ paint/ etc. although I would gladly demonstrate if you do not wish to believe me.
3. No, sadly I am not related to any one of the huge brigade of bong actresses that populate bollywood so quit asking.
4. No, I do not want any “roshogollas” and since I don’t see you carrying around a tin full of them anyway I advise you to stop asking me and breaking my heart cos I actually happen to love those sweets!
5. I will not be impressed if a random stranger comes up to me and says “aami tomake bhalo bashi” (I love you), so just stop! It sounds fancy to you but it really isn’t to us and gets kinda irritating after a while and makes me want to sue you for “roadside romeo” type of harassment. So if you really wish to sound knowledgeable- learn some new phrases please.
6. I do NOT know why we don’t have a bengali word for “drink” and I honestly don’t care. That does not mean we give you the liberty to ask us why we “eat our milk”. That joke lost its charm 200 years ago so I suggest you learn some new punchlines as well.
7. Please do not try to compliment me by saying that I have typical bengali looks. We all wish to be unique and telling me I look just like a million others is a slight bit offensive.
8. Yes, we love our books but that does not mean that we carry one to every social event does it? and neither do we break out in verse at the mere sight of nature. With all due respect to Tagore- you really made our life hell didn’t you?!
9. My big eyes are a gift from God and my Beautiful mum/grandmom/aunt. There’s no pool of these available for sale only to people with the bengali passport (if that even exists!) Love the compliments but hate the following, ‘oh you’re a Bengali, no wonder!’
10. I know we have way too many bandhs (curfews) but it’s just one empty-headed politician responsible for them. Does NOT make the whole clan of us lazy and irresponsible. (I agree I may have symptoms of both but that’s just me 😛 I don’t see anyone putting Tagore and SC Bose in this category!) Laziness has nothing to do with caste/color/creed/ethnicity; I personally blame technology 😉
I can’t think of more but I’ll keep adding as and when I meet someone who starts his conversation with, “Oh ur a bengali!! then you must…”